Gratitude Journal – Day 4 -Today I am grateful for

Gratitude Journal – Day 4 -Today I am grateful for

Is there anything you could be more thankful for, aside from being given the day to be asked this question? Even though some days are so incredibly difficult and dark – we are still able to answer the question.

For me, today I am thankful for having peace. My mind is at ease, my anxiety and depression are controllable and I am currently listening to two of my favourite people laughing in the other room.

I am able to sit and write, to go through photos I love, to plan for the future. To respond to my friend’s messages with ease and with want.

This week has not been perfect, my emotions have not been perfect but today, today I am at peace.

My Husband and I are making plans for the future, plans which are far more attainable than they were only 6 months ago. Our lives are improving every day, our relationship goes from strength to strength and we are surrounded by people who love us, love for us and love with us.

x Courtney x

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Personal Freedom & the human spirit.

The women in my family carry guilt and regret like you would not believe. In many ways, it is slightly ridiculous – you shouldn’t be thinking about something you said in 2006, at 2.30am on a Sunday night/Monday morning (as I was this week).

Personal Freedom – doesn’t it sound fantastic? The thought of it is absolutely liberating, how I would love to have better control of my emotions – to no longer be my number one enemy. I found my next book through a list on Pinterest or the internet somewhere, under the guise of ’20-something books you should read’ (apologies, I cannot remember exactly the context of the list, but it was generally along the same lines).

The Four Agreements (A Toltec Wisdom Book), by Don Miguel Ruiz (1997): A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom. I borrowed this book from the library when I was feeling very down and disjointed, I thought maybe I could (as well as counselling and new medication), try to obtain knowledge on how to stop beating myself up so much. Don explains that Toltec knowledge has been embodied and passed on through generations, veiled in secrecy, ancient prophesies and it arises from the same essential unity of truth as many sacred traditions found around the world. It is not a religion as such, but it does honour spiritual mastery taught on Earth.

The Four Agreements[Thank you to Jill Conyers for the images – via Pinterest]

1Be Impeccable with your word – speak the truth. Speak the honest truth. Live your honest spoken truth. This is the hardest one to master and I definitely think after reading Don’s book, the hardest one to honour. It is the reflections you have with yourself and with others. Your word has the ability to permanently wound or lift another person up (or yourself). The words you speak, form agreements. What you say about yourself – becomes an agreement (you believe what you say). What you say to others is also an agreement. As Don very powerfully wrote – ‘the power of the word is completely misused in hell. We use the word to curse, to blame, to find guilt, to destroy. Of course, we also use it in the right way, but not too often. Mostly we use the word to spread our personal poison – to express anger, jealousy, envy and hate’. After reading this I most certainly will be more mindful of the ‘black poison’ I too spread both within myself and on others. Our spoken word becomes an agreement, the words/thoughts/message is out there. We all need to be a little more mindful, a little gentler and certainly more honourable.

2Don’t take anything personally – Nothing other people do, is personal. Other people’s actions are completely outside of your control. This goes for actions and spoken words. Don’s states that we ‘take it personally because we agree with whatever was said, as soon as we agree, the poison goes through us and we are then trapped with this’. Just remember – nothing other people do is because of us, it is because of themselves. Just remember ‘whatever people do, fee3l, think, or say, don’t take it personally’.

3Don’t make assumptions – As Don states and as we all know, we, as humans, make assumptions about everything. When we make assumptions, we then assume and believe this to be the truth. Don writes that all the sadness and drama we have lived is due to assumptions we have made. Whilst I am not prepared to blame all of my sadness and drama on assumptions, I ABSOLUTELY believe this statement to be, in part, the truth. The quote for this agreement I have noted is ‘Whenever we make assumptions, we’re asking for problems. We make an assumption, we misunderstand, we take it personally; and we end up creating a whole big drama for nothing’.

4Always do your best – Under any circumstance, just do your best. You cannot be criticised for not doing your best. Your best will change over time, and as you develop the above three agreements, this fourth one will also develop. My favourite quote for this one is ‘Doing your best, you are going to live your life intensely. You are going to be productive, you are going to be good to yourself, because you will be giving yourself to your family, to your community, to everything, but it is the action that is going to make you feel intensely happy’.

So I myself personally, will be working on breaking my old agreements. I am striving for personal freedom, at the moment I am not free. I am not free from negative thoughts or destructive patterns, I am not free to be who I want to be, my spirit is not yet free.

I will continue to work towards this though and if you, like me, every suspect your personal freedom is at risk – then what have you got to lose reading this book?

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed this post. If you did, please ‘like’ or share the post so I can see! 

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It’s the little things in life…10 things that always make my heart happy <3

  1. Cuddles with my Mum. Possibly my favourite thing as a little girl, something I resisted as a teenager (I was a shit of a teenager, honestly) and cherish and crave as a grown woman.
  2. When I am completely relaxed, anxiety-free and depression is under control. Oh my goodness, best feeling in the world. Normalcy, control and happiness.
  3. Taking. Off. My. Bra. Hello freedom! Oh and scratching along where the bra line was on my back – is this not the best feeling in the world?
  4. That first sniff/sip of coffee in the morning. Not a dodgy Moccona from the tin + hot water, coffee. A decent coffee.
  5. Ham + Cheese croissants. Worth the 400 plus calories and 51% fat content. Every damned time.
  6. Cake. Oh my god, cake. Chocolate, mud, red velvet, orange + poppyseed. I don’t even care, just make it moist and make it delicious.
  7. The smell of jasmine. Will follow the smell and inhale for dear life. Oh my goodness, that smell. Heaven.
  8. Crawling into bed on a Sunday evening when I have laid fresh sheets which have been in the sunshine all day after having been washed. It is important to note that this step can only be as deliciously satisfying if I have shaved my legs and washed my hair.
  9. That beautiful change of season which is palpable. The air is thicker, you need a cardigan – I cannot tell you how much I love that feeling when summer in Queensland has broken, and autumn is on its way.
  10. Laughing with my Husband. I mean REALLY laughing. Losing our sh*t, struggling to breathe, snorting – the lot of it. Laughing with your best mate – you cannot get better than that.

Lucy

x